A Love Eventually Realized
by Blutiger Tod
Summary: A GojyoxHakkai story primarily dealing with them realizing their feelings for each other and, later, what they do with these feelings. COMPLETE
1. The Ogling

**Disclaimer:** sings I don't own Saiyuki, or Gojyo, or Hakkai. I don't own Sanzo or Goku; so don't ask me to die. All I own is this plot outline. So please don't sue me – oh, that would be far from fine!

**Warning:** This is a yoai ficcy (actually, I don't know if it will make it quite that far, I only have this chapter done as of now), consisting of a Gojyo/Hakkai pairing. If this bothers you, then please do not read this. You have been warned!

A LOVE EVENTUALLY REALIZED Chapter 1: The Ogling 

Gojyo looked at his cards, rather displeased. He cursed to himself, mad he had agreed to such a stupid bet in the first place. Sanzo dropped his cards on the table, and he didn't even have to say the word for them to know he'd won – lucky for him Hakkai wasn't playing. The other two dropped their cards in defeat, though Gojyo was glad to see Goku's hand was worse, which brought a small smile to his face.

After Sanzo successfully collected the money from the other two, they made their way downstairs to what served as a restaurant.

"Ah, Sanzo, Goku, Gojyo!" Hakkai said as they came down the stairs to join him, and, seeing the look of loss on all but Sanzo's face, added, "I see Sanzo won."

"Yeah! It's so unfair – he always wins!" Goku complained.

"No," Gojyo said, slightly irritated. "Hakkai wins, but since he wasn't playing this time, Sanzo had a chance at winning. Lucky for him I decided to go easy."

"You didn't have to 'go easy'," Goku retorted, "you would've lost no matter what!"

"Ugh. Baka." Sanzo said, hitting both Goku and Gojyo on the head with his infamous paper fan.

"Hey! What was that for?" Goku complained, while Gojyo got by on a simple "ow".

Hakkai couldn't help but chuckle a bit at this scene, but he soon subsided his laughter. After they were all seated, a waitress (who got suggestive glances from Gojyo) took their orders, and they were left to wait.

Annoyed at the silence, Goku struck up a conversation. "So, where are we going tomorrow, Sanzo?"

"Where do you think? To the west, you stupid monkey!"

"I wasn't asking you, kappa!" Goku argued.

The two continued to argue in this manner for some time, while Sanzo grew more annoyed by the second, and Hakkai kept his eternal masking smile on his face. Luckily, before Sanzo burst, the food came, at which point Goku completely forgot about the argument.

♥ ♦ ♣ ♠

Over dinner there had been the normal conversation (if you could call it that), where everyone chimed in but mostly only Sanzo and Hakkai had anything productive to, say as if either Gojyo or Goku opened their mouths, they would only create an argument with the other. After so much of this, it was decided that they should all retire to bed (plus, all the food had been a while consumed).

Goku, Sanzo, and Hakkai had withdrawn to bed, but it was equally assumed that Gojyo had gone to pursue "other matters".

It was most likely that by now Sanzo and Goku has slipped into slumber, but Hakkai had noticed something that night at dinner that was nagging at him and would not let him rest until it was recognized. Over the meal and conversation, Hakkai had continually felt a pair of eyes on him. Every once and a while he would look up to survey the area, but did not find to whom the ogling eyes belonged. One time, though, he'd gotten lucky. He was conversing with Sanzo when he thought he had heard Gojyo's voice. He'd quickly turned to Gojyo to ask him to repeat what he had said, as he'd missed it. His sharp turn to look at Gojyo was rewarded by a dazed look from Gojyo – the same gaze he'd felt on him all night.

♥ ♦ ♣ ♠

As Gojyo came to sleep in is provided room some hours after the others, he could do little to keep his mind from wandering to tonight's events.

All night he had been watching Hakkai, but had been quick enough to avert his eyes before Hakkai looked toward him, no doubt searching for those ogling eyes that belonged to no other than Gojyo himself. Somewhere, though, he had slipped, only to bit hit with a wrecking ball.

Hakkai had been speaking with Sanzo, thus Gojyo felt it would be a safe time to stare at him. Unfortunately, his chi must have been a bit too anxious, because Hakkai had turned abruptly to face Gojyo – and see that the eyes he'd been searching for all night where set nicely in Gojyo's head. Of course, both quickly looked to something else, but now there was an odd, curious, ashamed, and – oddly enough – anxious tension lingering between them; it had obviously affected them both.


	2. A Filler Chapter

**Disclamer:** Do I really have to sing it AGAIN?

**Warning:** sings L is for lustful glances

O is for "Oh, my god! It's gay!"

V is for very very inappropriate for small children (and otherwise)

E is for everybody knows that Hakkai and Gojyo are meant to be

Chapter 2: A Filler Chapter

The next morning would find a cum covered bed and an exhausted Gojyo. Thinking of the lingering tension between himself and Hakkai had only got him thinking to other things… things that made his pants (if he'd been wearing any, that is) tight. Of course, with not having a partner, he had to offer himself relief. Unfortunately, his nasty thoughts would not subside and his cock had gone hard many a time.

♥♦♣♠

Sanzo tapped his foot impatiently, which was quite a shocker to the two others as Sanzo never seemed to care about his fellows, especially Gojyo. After so much foot taping and complaining from Goku that they could eat without one member of the party, Hakkai volunteered to see in on Gojyo – or, rather, see if he was in.

♥ ♦ ♣ ♠

Gojyo woke with a start. His hair was plastered to his face and the sheets were strewn about, his bare body open to anything the world wished to throw at it. He swore to himself as he saw the cum strewn sheets, rubbing his temples in mild frustration. Soon, he heard footsteps coming down the hall – footsteps that could belong to none other than Hakkai. His mind spewed all assortments of curses as he quickly dressed and tried to look somewhat decent, while laying the sheets back in place and successfully covering any evidence of last nights' works.

_Knock_. Just one knock: if there had been any doubt in his mind before, it was banished – this was certainly Hakkai. After a quick fix of the hair, Gojyo opened the door, hoping he didn't look the way he felt.

"Oh, so you are awake," Hakkai said, his normal smile stuck to his face as always. "We thought you may have gone out for the night and forgotten to come home."

Gojyo stepped outside into the hallway, closing the door behind him. "Nah," he replied, "I just stayed out to late and drank too much." He gave a feigned excuse and prayed to the gods no one would be the wiser.

Goku came running up the stairs, "There you are, Gojyo!" he said, rather impatient, "Thanks to you I haven't eaten yet! If I wasn't so hungry I'd… do something that you would regret!" Goku said, failing to come up with a good threat.

Gojyo let out a small laugh at the monkey's lack of wit, but followed suit down the stairs anyway.

Sanzo glared at Gojyo, "What took you so long, you stupid bastard?" he said in his normal aggravated tone.

"Aww," Gojyo said, turning into his old self again, putting all hard thoughts out of his mind, "I didn't know you cared so much! How sweet, Sanzo."

Sanzo gave him the death glare and pulled out his gun, and would have probably shot him if the waitress had not arrived just then to take their orders.

Gojyo sighed, Now that's what I call divine intervention, he mused.

♥ ♦ ♣ ♠

The morning meal was as last nights' meal had been: arguing, conversation, & lustful glances. Soon it was over and they took to Jeep to continue their journey west – always west – never east, or north, or south… nope, always west.

The day dragged on in the summer heat and at least one member of the Sanzo-ikko would have been greatful for rain. As much as Gojyo hated the rain, with it reminding him of his mother's tears, he now welcomed it – who knows, perhaps the lovely Hakkai would seek refuge from past memories in the arms of Gojyo. The thought started to make him hard, so he quickly had to turn it away, even though it was so very tempting to continue.

Glancing to the northern region of the car, Gojyo's eyes beheld the beautiful sight of Hakkai. Roguishly, he wondered what those lips tasted like, what that mouth tasted like; what that cock tasted like.

_Fuck_. The tightness in his pants brought him back to reality, and he had to turn his thoughts to something completely uninteresting in every fashion to make that swell go down before anyone spotted it: mold. Yes, mold! Mold is an excellent subject of thought when trying to rapidly decrease the notability of your bulge. Either that, or fungus.

Author's Note: Heh heh ; sorry the chapters are so short. The fist one I wrote when I was really tired, and this one I was scraping the bottom of the barrel of inspiration for. Maybe the holidays will bring along a new longing to write… write and write and write all day long! Sorry, this chapter didn't really progress the story anywhere, did it? Oh, and the thing about mold and fungus… I don't know… I told you people, I am empty of inspiration! Wow, this is flowing more easily than the story… maybe I need to write some of my feelings (I have feelings? O.o) out before I can continue the story. TTFN, and I may not write again until sometime after Christmas – sorry!


	3. The Plot Twist

**Disclaimer: (**sings) I don't own, so you don't sue, or you'll be assaulted with sticky glue. All I have is this plot outline; it's the only thing that is mine. I don't own, so you don't sue, unless you act like a cow and go "moo".

**Warning:** (sings) This is a story, of a man named Gojyo, who was almost killed by his mom when young. He gets some bad thoughts about a companion, and gets a pair of panties all in a bunch.

Chapter 3: The Plot Twist

After driving for ten hours strait with Goku and Gojyo bickering and Sanzo's threats, this Sanzo-ikko finally came to rest for the night. Sanzo and Goku had gone to find a hotel, while Gojyo and Hakkai went off to see if the market was still open, so as they may replenish their food supplies.

♥♦♣♠

"Come on, Sanzo, I always have to room with Gojyo!" Goku complained as that "discussed" the room arrangements.

"No, just last night we all had our own rooms," Sanzo smartly countered.

"You know what I mean!" Goku continued, "Whenever we do have to share rooms I get stuck with Gojyo!"

"I am not going to room with _him_." Sanzo flatly stated.

"No, I mean shouldn't Hakkai room with him?" Goku said, a new edge to his voice. Sanzo looked at him with just enough emotion to show he was slightly confused. Goku shook his head, "Don't you notice the tension between them?"

Sanzo still seemed confused.

"Over every meal Gojyo keeps lookin' at Hakkai like he does with the waitresses… except there's another part to it that makes him seem not so", he searched for the word, "…lustful."

This made Sanzo stop dead. Come to think of it, he had noticed the two acted odd around each other. He'd had a good idea of what this meant, but had discarded it because such a thing should never be. This stupid monkey had to bring it up and make Sanzo realize the truth. _Shit_. Damn monkey.

♥♦♣♠

Hakkai and Gojyo, looking oh-so-manly carrying grocery bags, followed Hakuryu at a steady pace to whatever place they were to stay at that night. Gojyo, being Gojyo, was smoking (which took some time to figure out how because of the groceries). Hakkai, as always, held his trademark grin, and walked without a word, nodding kindly to those who passed.

Upon arriving at the inn, Gojyo and Hakkai were surprised – though Gojyo's main thoughts were not on, nor in, shock – to hear they'd be rooming together this time around. Sanzo looked a bit annoyed at this situation, while Goku had a devilish glow about him.

Dinner was short and quite, but made all parties (at least a bit) tired. Thus, all said goodnight and retired to "bed", this meaning "the place to 'go' after dinner and before sleep". With this in mind, it was no surprise to Hakkai when Gojyo left after dinner for a smoke.

Elsewhere, Sanzo sat on his bed in the shared room, more glum than usual. Goku, always his annoyingly hyper self, bounced over to Sanzo and asked in his annoying voice, "What's wrong, Sanzo?" Goku's question was ignored, and, instead, the blond stood up, stating, "I need a smoke," and leaving the room (and Goku) with the still unanswered question.

Outside, Gojyo suddenly had a new companion, Sanzo. For a good 10 minutes1 they both stood there, smoking, seeming as if they were unaware of the others presence. Well, that may have been the case for Gojyo, but Sanzo was fully aware of Gojyo being there. Ever since Goku had mixed up the rooming situation, Sanzo had been slapped hard in the face with the truth that he had always hidden from him self. He was going to overload.

Gojyo took one that drag on his cigarette and, only to be polite, said "I'm goin'; see ya." This certainly made Sanzo snap, as he heard a new _excitement_ in Gojyo's voice. As Gojyo made to go back into the inn, his wrist was suddenly grasped, and just after he turned around to figure this out, he was pushed hard against a support beam and could feel a strange pair of lips on his own, with a strong tongue that forced its way into his mouth. When mystery person ran short of breath (Gojyo was too stunned to react), the "kiss" was broken. After a second, Gojyo realized who mystery person was: Sanzo.

All Gojyo could muster from the shock was, "What the…?" Though not a complete question, Sanzo replied with a very complete reply. He grabbed Gojyo's shirt and, though blushing furiously, said in his normal tone, "I've liked you for a long time, but it is now obvious you love interest lies elsewhere, so I just wanted to do that before I lost you forever." Sanzo planted one more quick kiss on his lips, and quickly disappeared. This all left Gojyo confused, amused, and ready to go to bed – though not it the common meaning of such a phrase.

* * *

(1) I don't know how long it takes to smoke, so I just picked a number.**  
Author's Note:** Ah! I'm sorry the characters are so OOC in this chapter, but that's bound to happen in fics, right? Uh… plot twist! ; Don't worry, it won't come in again, I thought I should just add something in there for our Sanzo/Gojyo likers. I've reviewed my ideas for the story and there will only be one more chapter. Oh, if you can guess the tune to the songs I use in any of my chapters in the disclaimer/warning, then email me with what you'd like to see a fic on next. Ta ta! 


	4. Das Ende

**Disclaimer:** (sings) She's so lucky, she owns Saiyuki. I can't make a single penny off my work.

**Warning:** (sings) Once I was alone, I was dying. The things on the ground were from my inside. But then a man came along, with hair the color of blood, and this this is our story; this is how we carried on.

Chapter 4: Das Ende

Though a bit confused and flustered with his encounter with Sanzo seconds past, Gojyo was done smoking, and ready to face Hakkai. He knew now (though he had suspected earlier) that it was not just by chance that he was rooming with Hakkai – the stupid monkey had switched up the rooming. _Damn, I guess I should try to be more discrete when I'm in love with someone next time, huh?_ He though sarcastically. Secretly, though, he smiled to himself, glad the monkey had found out, because he'd probably never had worked up enough nerve to get a room with Hakkai. Odd, since they'd lived in the same house – even shared the same bed, for a while – not just a few months ago.

When Gojyo returned from his musings, he found he was stalled in front of his room door. _Ugh, since when have I ever had trouble with someone I wanted to fuck? Then again, when have I ever been in love?_ The word _love_ reverberated in his head, making him realize he'd finally admitted this was more than lust (though he did think of this word earlier, but for some reason it did not have the same effect). He sighed. _All right, I'm just going to get this over with. If Hakkai is disgusted with me, then I'll go out and drown myself in alcohol and lay some whores like I always do. But, if he accepts me… _Now that was a thought. What if Hakkai actually accepted him? He hadn't realized it, but he'd always been expecting to get discarded like last weeks trash.

"Stop thinking about it," came a voice. Gojyo whirled around to meet the eyes of – Sanzo? But… but hadn't he just..? What? Ah! This was all too confusing, Gojyo about collapsed. "You've been standing at that door for a good five minutes now. Just stop thinking about what's going to happen, and get your ass in there." Sanzo said, as if what had happened not ten minutes ago had ever happened. How could he do that?

Gojyo pulled his normal grin, "You know me too well," he said, as he did not think his worried state had been that easy to read.

"Whatever. Are you going to stand out here talking to me, or are you going to go in there and face Hakkai like a man?"

Gojyo's face went somber for a moment, but was soon lit up with a confident smile, "Thanks." He said simply, and silently slipped into his room to see what his fate was.

♥♦♣♠

Hakkai looked up from where he was reading, on the window sill, when Gojyo came in. "Ah, you finally came in. I heard you come up to the door a while ago, and was beginning to think it was just my imagination." He said, a little laugh added in at the end of his dialogue. Gojyo just sighed, looking as if he was sick. "Gojyo, are you okay, you don't look too well…"

"Yeah, I'm fine, Hakkai. I.. I just finally admitted something to myself and am trying to deal with it." Hakkai was a bit thrown off by that. Admitted something? Coping with it? This was rather unlike Gojyo.

"Are.. Are you sure you're all right?" He asked again, still afraid for his friends health.

"Depends," Gojyo said. "In what aspect am are you asking if I am all right?" Hakkai's brow furrowed.

"All aspects, of course." He said, still confused, and a bit uncomfortable.

"Then, no."

"What's wrong?"

"You."

"Me?" Hakkai asked, feeling his chest tighten and the swell of tears. What had he done to hurt Gojyo, his best friend, whom he cared for with all his life?

"Don't cry," Gojyo said, wiping the tears that Hakkai just now realized ran down his cheeks. "You didn't do anything wrong," Hakkai stopped the small trickle of tears and lifted his head to look Gojyo in the eye, but instead his lips received a message. Hakkai was confused for a moment, until he realized whom the other set of lips belonged to: Gojyo. He was too stunned to move – it was as if someone had turned him into stone.

Gojyo quickly pulled away, a furious blush on his beautiful skin. He looked at Hakkai and misinterpreted his lack of movement. Sighing, he said, "I didn't know how to express that in words, I'm sorry. I'll go now, you don't have to worry about me." He turned to go, but a hand caught his arm.

"Goj… yo." Hakkai said, tears streaming down his face.

"Great, I made you cry. Look, I'll just go now, okay?" He tried to pry Hakkai's hand off his arm, but he shook his head.

"That's not why I'm crying," said Hakkai, whipping away the tears. "I never knew you felt that way about me. I had caught you staring at me a few times and other semi-suspicious behavior, but it never clicked, I always assumed your attentions were elsewhere," Gojyo gaped. "Ever since you saved my life, even Kanan has been only second to you. I… I never expected you to return my feelings."

Gojyo was stunned. He'd never had guessed that Hakkai's feelings and his were mutual. And… being before Kanan? That was just about too much to handle. But he couldn't collapse; Hakkai'd already taken that role, and was now sitting on one of the beds trying to hold back his tears. Gojyo sat down next to him and gathered him up in his lap like a small child. He kissed his forehead gently and softly spoke into his ear, "I love you, Hakkai."

"I love you, too, Gojyo."

_**-Das Ende-**_ **

* * *

Author's Note:** Ah! I know that I promised a lemon, but I just went all fluff and couldn't see it fitting in. I'm sorry! So, now that it doesn't have a lemon, I'm wondering if the rating should stay the same or go down? Help me – I suck at ratings! Oh, and sorry for the delay: I had finals (though, with my grades I could have gotten a 0 on 'em and still passed). I may write a follow-up to this, or something like that, and if I do, I will try my best to treat y'all to a lemon, as that promise was not fulfilled in this. (Is bombarded with squeaking cat and dog toys.) NOOO! I'm sorry! If you're reading this after I change(d) chapter 3's promise, you are not allowed to through things at me: only the people that read chapter 3 before 1/27/05. I hope you like it! Thank you all for reading, and check out my DD songfic! Love ya! –Meow. 


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